Twenty-Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/091811.cfm

MSF Picnic fun

I wrote a meditation on today's gospel passage recently, so I'll address the second reading today.

Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.
For to me life is Christ, and death is gain.
If I go on living in the flesh,
that means fruitful labor for me.
And I do not know which I shall choose. I am caught between the two. 

The Greek word to describe Saint Paul's attitude is apatheia, which sounds like apathy but is something quite different. Apatheia is that open, willing spirit which stands ready to obey whatever the Lord wants. 
Saint Paul wrote this letter to the Philippians from a jail cell. He did not know he would ever walk free. He has to consider the possibility of death. Without the medical sciences and medical establishment that we take for granted, death was always near at hand in a first century Roman jail. Well into the twentieth century, people often wrote letters to one another inquiring after their health and informing loved ones of their own good (or failing) health. 

Saint Paul firmly believed in the Resurrection of the Dead. He brought his own Pharisaic tradition to that belief and added his personal belief that Jesus had been raised from the dead and now lives. He also brought his assurance that Jesus had called him to announce the Gospel of Resurrection to the nations. He was sure of God's mercy for himself and his beloved disciples in every city he had visited. So he looked forward to an eternity of bliss with his dear Lord. 
But there was so much yet to be done! How many thousands of people? How many cities and nations had not yet heard the name of Jesus?  Though he was imprisoned and perhaps wasting in a prison cell, he wanted to keep going. Which should he prefer? 

...I do not know which I shall choose. I am caught between the two. 

His eager indecision, his willingness to let God be God and make the decision for him is what the ancients called apatheia, a holy indifference. 


This attitude is learned partly from Hindu and Buddhist traditions. The Buddha's great insight is that suffering rises from desire and freedom from suffering is freedom from desire. 
But the Christian also wants intensely! We want the Kingdom of God. We pray daily "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven! Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses...."
Willingly we take upon ourselves the burden of Christ's suffering, that painful longing for justice and mercy for every human soul. We cannot be satisfied with personal salvation; we want it for everyone. 
Working in our provincial Development Office I read dozens of letters every day, asking God, Saint Anthony and Saint Pio (Padre Pio) to hear the prayers of wounded, hurting souls. They pray for health, job security, the faith of their children and healing for their loved ones. The list is endless and will remain endless until the end of time. We don't want to be free of longing, we want our longings satisfied! 
Apatheia, then, is the willingness to wait on God's mercy. It will come and we will wait until it comes. World without end, Amen. That's what we call faith.